Oh, so they have internet on computers now

English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family

Marge, old people don't need companionship, they need to be isolated and studied to see what useful nutrients can be obtained from them

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try

I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail

If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers