He who limps is still walking

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer

I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door - or I'll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor