It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

A man once asked to shake hands with me, the "greatest Englishman who ever lived." I replied, "F**k off, I'm Irish.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy