One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness

Confess your sins to the Lord, and you will be forgiven confess them to men, and you will be laughed at

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs

The less we know the more we suspect

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together

Love iz like the meazles we kant have it bad but onst, and the later in life we have it the tuffer it goes with us

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds a man down or polishes him up depends on the stuff he's made of