Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world

Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that nobody ever reads. In fact, for the past five years most of the manuals shipped with software products have actually been copies of Stephen King's The Stand with new covers pasted on

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-old who tried to learn snowboarding

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result of being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford