The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked

People will frighten you about a graduation...They use words you don't hear often... "And we wish you Godspeed." It is a warning, Godpeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices

Why do kids always say peace out, I though peace was in

Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet

The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet

Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.