2,413 teenage girls get pregnant everyday. Restatus if you like pancakes.
Math questions are so stupid! They're like "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?" Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?
Before going to sleep every night forgive everyone and sleep with a clean heart.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Laughing is the best medicine but if you are laughing for no reason, you need medicine.
Every honest man secretly welcomes a press agent
Questions are the creative acts of intelligence