If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things

I'm going to give my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British