When someone cheats on you it can be devastating. Here you are imagining a life with someone else, and then the reality sets in that you’ll never have that. Or, you’re left with the decision of whether you’re going to take that person back in your life of not. Can you trust them again?
It isn’t just these issues that you find yourself faced with, most people make mistakes when they find out their partner cheated. If you want to work it out with your significant other, or you want to move forward, there are several things you should avoid.
Below, we go over 5 of the main thigs to avoid when you find out that your partner has cheated. Trust us, don’t waste your time going through these steps, because they will only complicate your situation and leave you in further heartache.
1) Don’t Dig up the Details
Once you find out that you’ve been cheated on, you may want to question your partner. You want to know who it was, where it happened, when they met. However, finding out this information, whether you’re fixing the relationship or not, will only hurt you. There’s no way to find closure in this situation by reliving it over and over again. What you need to know is that your partner cheated, and now you have to figure out how to move on.
2) Don’t Confront the Person
Now that you know your person has cheated, you need to speak to this person. I mean, what are you really going to say? Your issue is with your partner, not with the person that they cheated on you with. In fact, in most cases the other woman/man doesn’t even know that you exist. Your partner has stepped outside of your relationship, and talking to the other person involved isn’t going to help anything. Talking to the other person can also make you feel worse.
3) Blaming the Woman/Man They Cheated on You With
We touched on this in number 2, but there are so many woman and men that don’t confront their partner. Even if the other woman knew that you existed, it is still your partner that is to blame. It is your partner that has stepped outside of your relationship, lied to you, and come back to tell you about it. If you are going to be angry and hurt, you need to be upset with your partner. You don’t even know the other person, and remember that there are always two sides to every story.
4) Rehashing the Details Over and Over Again
Your partner has told you that they’ve cheated, and now you have an important decision to make. Either you’re going to forgive them and rebuild your relationships, or you are going to let them go. Whichever path you choose… you have to let it go. Reliving the details is just as bad as inquiring into the matter. What is done is done, and there is no changing it. So, decide to do whatever you want to do, but never look back. The biggest mistake that people make, when they stay with someone that cheated on them, is that they never get over it. If you choose to keep your partner, then the details of the affair stay in the past.
5) Changing Yourself to Keep Him
The final mistake, and probably the worst one that you can make, is to change yourself thinking that it will fix the problem. If there is a problem in your relationship, it is with them and not you. Now, if you’re having an issue with communication and intimacy then that’s something you’ll have to work on together. But, if your partner is just seeking new thrills, you’re not going to keep them interested by changing your hair.
When someone cheats on you it ruins your self-esteem, so you will try to overcompensate in your relationship. Instead of working on yourself, you both need to focus on the relationship. You also need to ask yourself if your partner deserves another chance, because you don’t have to give them one.
Ultimately, it is your choice how you want to move forward once you have been cheated on. A lot of people will tell you to move on, but you must follow your own heart in the matter.
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