So many people passing away, thank God for waking us up every morning.
Whats the worst thing you can do to a blind man? Leave the plunger in the toilet!
Me asking if you want anything from Starbucks is my way of telling you I am going to be very, very late.
Be with someone who knows exactly what they have when they have you. Not someone who will realize it when they've lost you.
The best stories are not just about living out your fantasies; they are inspiration for living up to your dreams
Dude that's sweet monster Hummer you're driving. Sorry about your inverted penis.
A skeptic is someone who is frustrated beyond belief.
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