8 Red Flags When Someone Isn't Worth Your Time

Added Date - Apr 5, 2024

Some people are just a waste of space. That’s easy enough to figure out. What’s harder is when someone gets their hooks in you, even a bit, and you have to determine if they are (or aren’t) worth your time.


If you have been there before, you know how you can end up going back and forth wondering if this person will make a good friend, romantic or business partner. Will you end up with a broken heart or an empty bank account? Let’s look at some red flags that can signal that someone is just not worth your time.


Red Flag #1 – No Give and Take


If you are the giver and they are the taker all the time, that’s a huge red flag. A healthy relationship of any type requires both people contribute. Sometimes, each of you may give more or less, but hopefully, it all comes out in the wash. Balance in all things, especially relationships.


Red Flag # 2 – Pushing Your Limits


If this person does things you wouldn’t dream of doing that violate your boundaries, that’s an incredible red flag. Without your limits being honored, you will end up resenting this person sooner rather than later. They may be putting their lack of boundaries on you and actually treating you how they would want to be treated. But, and it’s a big but, if you don’t share the same limits, you will continually feel disrespected.


Red Flag #3 – Trying to Manipulate You (or Others)


Maybe they haven’t seemed to try to manipulate you (yet), but you’ve watched as they play mind games with others. But if you find yourself dealing with guilt trips or gaslighting episodes, it never gets better. People who use these manipulative tactics to get what they want will not get better with time. Run! They are not worth your time.


Red Flag #4 – Criticism, Pessimism, and Negativity


A passing bad mood may make anyone critical or pessimistic for a time. But if this person is constantly negative, you won’t be happy with them for long. A negative outlook drains the joy from your relationship, weighing on your other relationships and your career. If this person is not uplifting and inspirational most of the time, assume they are not worth your time.


Red Flag #5 – They Won’t Talk


Not being willing to talk enough to resolve problems is a huge red flag for any relationship. But if this person is not even willing to talk when there isn’t a problem, reassess your connection. Ask the people in any long-term business or personal partnership, and they’ll tell you. Relationships are built by having conversations about important things and everyday stuff. Make sure this person talks to you enough to develop and maintain a connection for the long term. If not, they won’t be worth your time.


Red Flag #6 – Disrespecting You and Others


There’s no question that someone with disrespectful behaviors toward you is not worth your time. But what about if they make dismissive comments to and about others? Or what if they insult other people? Can they belittle other people and always appreciate and value you? Probably not. Someone who does not treat others – all others – with the dignity and respect they deserve is not worth your time.


Red Flag # 7 – Unreliable or Inconsistent


You’re sitting again, dealing with the disappointment of a last-minute cancellation of your plans. Another promise they didn’t keep. As you stew in your hurt feelings, you go through the list of times they were unreliable or inconsistent. If they give you their word and it means nothing, this person is absolutely not worth your time.


Red Flag #8 – Lies, Blaming, and Lack of Accountability


It’s always someone else’s fault – often yours. They don’t apologize for mistakes, but if they do, the same mistake strangely keeps happening! If this person were worth your time, they would take responsibility for their actions and own up to their part in disagreements. It doesn’t take long for resentment to build when you spend time with a person who can’t acknowledge their faults and work toward making things better in the future.


So, based on these eight red flags, is this person worth your time? Do you think they will contribute positively to the relationship and your life? It may hurt to decide to end your connection with them now, but things don’t get better if these red flags already exist. You deserve the best, so find someone else who IS worth your time!


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