Even when opportunity knocks a man still has to get up off his seat and open the door
It's too late to apologize. The damage is done.
Did you ever wonder why we always leave cookies and milk for Santa Claus, but we never leave a salad for the Easter Bunny?
Actually, I didn't forget your birthday, but since you forgot mine I waited until a day after to send this.
I want to be the only shoulder, you want to cry on.
If life gives you a bowl of lemons, go find an annoying guy with paper cuts
The coolest thing about being a dog must be the ability to use your own ass for a pillow.