A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.