1) It can be very difficult to be caring and compassionate when you are judgmental or you make assumptions. These are negative thoughts and reactions that you need to avoid, otherwise you end up becoming negative yourself in response to the individual. Expect the best from each person and each situation and you may be pleasantly surprised. When you become negative this shows in your body posture and the words used, and it will just cause more negativity from the other person.
2) Create a positive change even if this is only temporary. You can not change the negative patterns of others but you can disarm their negativity for a short period at times. Be a compassionate listener for a short period and then redirect the conversation Create a positive change even if this is only temporary. You can not change the negative patterns of others but you can disarm their negativity for a short period at times. Be a compassionate listener for a short period and then redirect the conversation to something that is positive in order to disarm and defuse the negativity of the situation.
3) Look past the surface to see if you can understand where they are coming from and what the true problem really is. This will make it easier for you to have compassion and you may be able to help the person come up with a solution that is positive.
4) Do not tolerate or make excuses for bad behavior. This only reinforces the negative pattern. Be compassionate yet firm, and do not support or tolerate bad behavior because this only reinforces the negative thoughts and actions of the individual.
5) Look at what the relationship provides to you. There must be something in it or you would not continue the relationship. Have you entered into a codependent relationship because you have a need to be a caretaker or you want to be useful? Examine your reasons for continuing the relationship so you can determine what you get from it and what you must give in order to maintain it.
6) You can not control other people but you can control your response to them. People who are negative thrive on strong reactions. Your actions are much more powerful than words, and failing to give a strong reaction can help temper the emotional response that you have to any situation. You may need to practice some before you get this down pat but when you are successful you can minimize the negativity that you are exposed to.
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